Saturday, July 16, 2011
yo blog i'm back again =)
ytd was a busy day.
i'm late for school again so sian.
but
things always had a perfect ending =)
it was 4 plus where i met JASSICA
wait a minute nope nope she prefer WAN XIN =)
YUP
WAN XIN when both of us took a bus 72 den 1 somthing somthing de
hiya i for got liao next time then tell you hahaha...
ya the bus trip was about half an hour we took the bus at the bus stop just outside
nyp's main entrance.
when we reach hougang (her house area) it started to rain.... (ho noooooooooo.....)
but luckliy she got bring urmballa.
great things was that i'm able to hold the urmballa for her.
at the time we were as close as i can ever think of (thank you rain)
with route that headed to her i can feel that both of us are getting closer to one another. isn't that great??? just imagine ..........
then we arrive at her block it was 402 and i guess she live about seventh or eleventh floor never followed her up.
so ya i was waiting at void deck where there is a chair.
beside that i even brought for her, her first cup of koi =)
but it seem that she like heaven and earth green tea more.
ya back to the story.
i was sitting alone waiting for her arrival,
then as i waited i felt thirsty.
then i was about to drink the koi which i brought for WANXIN (SHE DRANK HALF A CUP)
but i didn't dare to drink cos scared she saw so i waited again. but i cannot tahan liao. so i took a sip.
"HEY, I SAW THAT !!!"
THEN I TURN AND LOOK
it was WAN XIN.
OMG!!!!!! SHE SAW I TOOK A SIP OF HER KOI....
dam it caught it red haned by her.
after which, we took a short walk to the nearest mrt station.
and drop at kovan for late lunch.
she intro me with a lots of food.
and also on our way to kovan we crack alot of jokes on the trains
it was the most beautiful time i had since the past few years.
however like all beautiful stories there is always a spoiler part.
as we were eating a chatting happily,
i brought up the topic of SOMKING........
then i realised that she doesn't like ppl who smoke.
OMG how i'm going to go after her when she said she hated smokers.....
that its..... i have to quit liao..... if not she will never be mine.
but the biggest problem of all was that i have been smoking for more then three years le HOW AM I GOING TO STOP SMOKING ?????
dam it.
then she asked a question.
"DO YOU SMOKE???"
DIE GG
my first lie to her inorder to keep a good reputations on her.
die die die.
i wasn't ready to tell her yet.
so i lied.
i felt very gulity i emo the whole day
gosh i cant believed i lied to wanxin
i think if she know the truth even i jump into the yellow river also cant clear my gultiness.
then i come to a conclusion.
now i felt that my reputation in her was great.
and i feel that i getting to fall in her deeper and deeper.
and if i ever wan to be with her in furture,
i will have to stop smoking just like her dad it.
i just wanna see or hear she said to mi personally that
"i wanna you stop smoking"
i haven tell why i started smoking.
since young i never stay with my parents. i lived with my grandma. cos of some difficulty of taking care of me. then when i reach sec 1 i finally move back to my family. and i thought it was where a beauitful time started. however it wasn't wat is had think of. nightmare begin. it was my first time seeing my parents querels, my elder bro was a useless person and that time. he abused me and i got into depression a year later. all my family members didn't know. and i suffer quietly alone. then one day in school i was very emo. my best bro in school came toward to check mi out. i told him wat happened. and he understood. he gave mi a cig to smoke and told mi that my problems will be solved once i took a path. in the begining i feel that all my problems was solved and yet i missed out that my new problems had just born. i kept smoking when ever i faced problems, stress, sad, angry. and slowly from running away from problem using cig i didn't realised i had addicted to it. i had no one to talk i felt lonely. so i kept smoking and smoking over five year and now coming to six. it is hard for mi to stop.
by telling you all this, i'm afraid that my reputation now was not as good as before. but i had not regarts tell you. cos i know, if a person ever like another person he or she must be truful to him or her.
i'm sorry that i lied to you that i did not smoke. actually i do smoke.
so since you had known who i am. it will be your decision if you still wanna contact me anot.
and sorry for me lying to you. hoped you will for give mi.
but to tell you the truth i really hoped we can start sometihngs between us. i keen to begin anything to with. even to the point that you wan me to stop smoking i will too but it takes time. so i now told you that i smoke and i hoped to begin a relationship you with someday. what do you think for yourself. tell me or text me when you have the answer i'll be ready to accpet any answer from your truth heart.
to wanxin
from benjamin
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Dear Blog,
It has been a year plus since i last visited you. So i guess i should update you more about my new life in poly. As you know since i finally graduted from six years in AES, i finally reach my target to enter an poly. Most importantly the poly which i entered also the poly which i dream of go NYP. I was indeed very happy.
life in poly was i total new eipsode in my life. Just come to think of it is relationship. blog you know my heart belongs to the only girl which she still in AES taking her O LEVELS, and you also know that I kept a promise between her. The promise that I hard very hard on it not to break it, like what is always do. However this time I guess my determination and lost to girl name JASSICA.
In all the months in my lecture classes, I had never notices her pleasent. Maybe i'm blinded by my own determination. Thanks to angles, who clear my vision and let me found her. Jasscia, she is not a normal girl which i see most of time. Her pleasent let me understand somthing. which is "things that you being waiting for so long and they never appear to you, this shows that is time for you to let go". Which indeed i decided to give up my ex.
blog do you know what is have been through in my poly life??? i guessed you wont know ba. i still remember how had JASSICA entered to my life. It was the begining for analog lecture in Ltn 4. i was sited at the sit of the lecture room. Just as the timing was right JASSCIA entered the lecture room and sit a few rows to my right hand side. At that momnent my eyes were glued to her pleasent and my mind was blank. Can you imagine the feel i had. This is the same feel i had in my first love, and it has been more then 5 years, the feeling is back again. i'm not looking for a girlfriend now. however with the feeling i had on her i'm not sure of myself anymore. since that day, i always look forward to attend lecture with her. i really like her. but i cant express my feeling that fast. i still more information that i need know about her.
14/7/2011
i ask Jassica for lunch today, and she agreed. althought is not just both of us alone, but i still ok with it. she is more activite among her classmates, she talks more, laughs more. hope that our conversion will progress in that direction some day. ya about today, i realised she had a beautiful smile which in my opinion is a perfect smile. and sometime i can feel that she is a bit shy when she is with me. but i do not know what her feeling toward me. all of this it is this a mystery to me. which i know someday i'm going to find out.
about JASSICA
name: jassica lim wanxing =)
age: 18 years o =)
school: nyp =D
cca: playing violin =D (wish to listen her plays)
hometown: hougang
transpot to school: no 72 bus, drop at the bus stop near south canteen =)
fravouit food:
fravouit colour:
fravouit movie:
fravouit music:
hobby:
fashion of design:
likes:
dislikes:
what makes you happy:
what makes you sad:
what makes you angry:
kind of guys you like: (xD)
